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Thanks for your note Casper! I do chat with him about these issues, but he often withdraws. I’m very gentle with it, but he’s VERY hard on himself. Sometimes when I bring things up he goes into self-loathing behaviors and starts putting himself down…BAD. Something like me simply saying, John, you need to double-check that the oven is off, will send him into an episode of him not being able to do ANYTHING right. It’s actually frustrating to me because I am being so gentle with him, I promise you that. I recently asked him how others have perceived his ADD tendencies and he’s said he’s had exes tell him he needs to shut the f*ck up, etc….I don’t think that gets a person anywhere and I’ve NEVER said anything like that to him.
I’m just finding it hard trying to manage keeping my own mental health stable while trying to bring up issues to him, manage them, and also not get to a point of resentment. It’s very very tough. I definitely have noticed my own mental health has suffered quite a bit. I’m trying to get better but it has been a very rough several months. I tend to feel A LOT so I’m also very very hard on myself.