Reply To: Dating a Man with ADHD — my anxiety has spiked, seeking advice please.

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#81406
Casper
Participant

Your relationship is very similar to mine, except I am the guy with ADHD. Visual cues will help with everything. You don’t need a massive sign next to your cooker, but maybe a bright orange oven glove to get his attention that will help trigger the thought “is the oven still on?”. I wake up in the middle of the night and go and check to see if I have left the gas hob on. 9 times out of 10 it is off. It’s quite stressful for the person with ADHD, especially when you can see it is affecting the person you love. Medication has helped with my issues with ADHD significantly, but you need to have realistic expectations. If I did not take Ritalin every day I would not be able to work. Half a 10mg tab in the morning and the other half at lunch time. I went off taking meds for a long time because of the side effects (they are horrible) but the gains are well worth it. If he is talking bollocks you need a polite cue, like a nudge or a hand gesture. Over time he will become more mindful of what he says. It seems like you don’t want to be too hard on him, so you don’t bring up things like that, but I promise that if you are calm and respectful he will listen. Even now I am still learning to be more mindful of what I am saying, rather than voice random thoughts in my head. I accidently offended a group of my girl mates recently, and it has made me really want to change. Talking about it with him will solve everything. Don’t hold it in, because you will end up losing your temper and not achieve your goal which is improving your relationship. The worst thing that can happen is you do nothing and end up resenting each other. From what I have read, it seems like you love each other very much, so take some time and learn how to MANAGE it.