Remember that ADHD is a developmental disorder, so his skills in many areas are that of a 9-10 year old. Also, executive functioning deficits common with ADHD can cause disorganization and “messiness.” I’ve learned with my own son that he really doesn’t see the messes — it’s a lack of awareness because his brain doesn’t “see” that way.
What I am doing is calling my son back and asking HIM what else he thinks he might need to do before walking away for good. Usually, he’s able to spot the mayonnaise still on the counter, or the wet towel in a pile on the bathroom floor. I’m bringing his awareness to the fact that there’s more to do and helping him to start thinking through the process of cleaning up or finishing up before walking away.
It’s a process and a very, very long one.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Trainer on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism