I thought I wrote this! Honestly, I was like, “Wait, when did I post this?”
I just went through this, I got really into running, so much so I was working to build from nothing to an Ultra! That’s me, all in, super intense, consuming every bit of information on a subject, then when it no longer intrigues, inspires, or I plateau, I put it down. Either for a while or forever. While trying to get better at trail running, which was often a frustrating outing, I decided to make that hour drive to my closest ice rink, I really love figure skating and am often sad that there isn’t a rink closer to me. I could have actually made the trip to this rink over 4 years ago, but couldn’t get myself to make such a long unknown drive to an unknown rink. I guess the winter olympics, combined with my skates needing to be sharpened, was enough for me to just do it. Even on that day, I was obsessed with going, I would not be happy unless I did it, but couldn’t get out the door. I finally left 30 minutes later than I should and got there 30 minutes after open skate started. But I enjoyed myself so much that I came back the week after, and the week after, sometimes twice in a week if the opportunity presented itself. I also approached an instructor who has turned out to be a real blessing. I began to move my focus more on skating, and made my fitness on the other days more complimentary to ice skating. To be fair, early on in running I sprained my knee, and had developed bursitis in my right hip. The knee injury kept re-agrevating with my running, I have bow legs and mild scoliosis, so my running gate is pretty hilarious. I still love running, what it does for my mind. But I often get such a buzz off of it, that I embarrass myself. Like I’m high on heroine or something. I’m sure my neighbor’s are terrified of me, or think I’ve had a mental break. I have, trying to live in a neuro-typical world, with undiagnosed ADHD literally fried my brain.
I like to think of it this way, ADHD and gifted people share this trait, having many intense interests. Getting fully immersed with something, and then moving on at some point to fully learn another thing. Perhaps gifted people master everything they pick up, where ADHD peeps, put it down when it no longer stimulates, or holds intrinsic value. I often come back to things I was intense about in the past. I know I will get bored with figure skating soon, and I will put it down, unless I’m able to grow and learn in ways I couldn’t in the past. I was self taught in the past. I put running down when it began injuring my body. Ect.
I think rather than feeling bad about this, you could examine it, ask why you do this, and ask if you put things down for a while and come back to them later? I enjoy learning new things, and don’t like being tied to any one thing, person, or place for too long, certainly not forever. I am loyal to a few people, my husband, daughter and family. Though there are times I need a break from them as well, to refresh, hit reset, find myself, remember my main passions. Photography has remained constant, but I go through periods of not photographing anything, because nothing is catching my eye. Maybe we understand more, that life is meant to ebb and flow, that there are seasons, day and night, and days are never the same length. Nothing is forever. We are more like nature.
What does your husband care if you want to spend money on an interest that you might not do for ever? Is it bringing you joy now? While you are doing it? Then it is a good thing. There is no ROI on figure skating lessons for some one my age. I’m not hoping for olympic gold, or some Ice Capades career. But it makes me happy, and it’s fulfilling to be able to pick up where I left off and maybe learn the things I didn’t get to learn in the past.
What is it that you wanted to do? Start a business? I have like a 100 great business ideas a day. I wish I could just be a start up person, who passes it off or sells it and then moves on.
Look at Steve Allen, author of over 300 books and short stories, over 4000 pop songs, the board game Blow Your Own Horn. Just google him. He didn’t appologize about his eclectic interests. And neither should you.