GREAT now I have the Pixies stuck in my head. Your mind is there. Perhaps you are just not listening to it. I also am a 3 or so college drop out. Alum of Google University! I also thought I was a failure all my life. When your young and your peers are all excelling and you seem to be going backwards. You begin to believe you are a failure and while growing up, tough as it is, you may fall on the comfort of being sad and beat yourself up.
Accept it, Find what works for you. Remember, we are human. We aren’t anywhere near world peace but slowly the world is opening it’s eyes to the difference everyone contributes.