Reply To: Dating a Man with ADHD — my anxiety has spiked, seeking advice please.

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#81159
keypher
Participant

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that he’s ashamed to predict the costs and hoops of getting medicine, not to mention the INITIATION and FOLLOW THROUGH required to establish getting on medication. Those psychiatrists are medically trained and so they are pricey! And his insurance or lack there of, may prohibit IMAGINING that he can sustain the costs of daily/monthly medication.

If he does know what he wants to do to be productive, the medication *may* kickstart him and keep him going to thoroughly be dependable. There’s no guarantee that this will be smooth or possible but it’s a POSSIBILITY.

Maybe he needs to pursue this checklist on his own while you date others, even if he is living with you, because you need to know he’s making an effort and sacrificing as much as you are now. If he can’t MOTIVATE himself under those circumstances then you are “getting the short end of the stick”. To keep his morale up you can say, “I really hope you can give the medication a try because that is some hope for us. Meanwhile, I need to make other plans and I sure hope it’s possible to consider our future with you following up on your own self-sufficiency (meds or not). I need a partner in life at some capacity and RIGHT now – it feels like too much is on me. Please do try!”

Take care of loving yourself and you will not miss the emotional support that he has provided. You deserve that no matter what he chooses to do so promise yourself you will not abandon yourself. You have control of yourself and not him. Good luck! 🙂