GianMalone, I can’t answer most of your questions. I know nothing about meds.
However, I can help with your last question: “What else can I do for her to be her best?” Give her a hug every day and tell her you love her. It may sound obvious or stupid, but some day it likely will be really important for her. Her image of herself, if anything like mine, is going to take a beating from teachers and peers. There is nothing better than a mom’s hug. Love for no reason at all. I’m 58 and I still remember that my mom was there for me. That was all I really wanted at times. So, love is #1. BTW, a hug is a great way to say you’re sorry, especially after you’ve hit your limit and exploded. (trust me, I know). Never go to bed angry/sad about how you reacted. A hug to a sleeping child will also do you wonders.
Number 2 comes from the fact that your daughter will be different and that means her own set of wonderful and hard. The truth is she will have to figure out a lot of this on her own. If she’s like all the other ADHD people she will be persistent. You won’t be able to solve her problems. What you can do is help her solver her own. I have a neighbor who’s son is somewhere on the Asperger’s spectrum. She accepted it and worked with him on funny subjects, such as: When someone asks you how you’re doing, they don’t really want to know, here are your answers to choose from. Her son is doing great. So, your daughter is different. That’s okay. Some day the melt downs will be nothing more than anything else. And some day they, too, will go away.
Good luck. It will work out.