I know how you feel. Skimmed the post, but I’m a six time college drop out. Before adhd treatment, my brain so fast it was numb. And my hyperactivity was painful, just couldn’t sit unless I ran miles and miles or killed my self with exercise (exercise good, but not the point where draining your body). Even with treatment, it’s still kinda that way, but I’m good my adhd is still there ((it’s just toned down now). When my thoughts slowed down a tad, I could “catch” them. They are still scattered and I have “spaghetti brain” lol but today I’m grateful for that bc where my adhd used to hinder my old jobs, now it is the sole reason why I’m successful. I learned how to write code and algorithms, studied on my own time and ow way, now I’m a data scientist. I develop algorithms to use for marketing purpose and personalized marketing. It requires me to think outside the box (or “thibk didferent” as stevebikvs says) and to think BIG. Now I can succeed BECAUSW of my adhd instead of in spite if it. It’s all problem solving, no clerical work, very challenging so I’m not bored, and field always changed so constant learning and no monotony. But I did need medication bc like I said my head used to ring from fast thoughts and talking was even hard bc I couldn’t get words out as fast as my brain wanted to. And the extreme hyperactivity I couldn’t stay in one place to do any job.
Don’t give up, I used to think I was a failure. And I’d never live up to my potential. But keep moving, and you never know what could happen. The world is you oyster