I agree with 100% of what ADHDmomma said.
Those of us with ADD/ADHD feel things so much more strongly. One common characteristic is that our brains tend to overexaggerate issues. For example, when we have arguments with people, those we’re arguing with might see the exchange as small, and they’ll get past it quickly, whereas those of us with ADHD perceive the argument as more significant and it sticks with us. Our brains amplify situations and add so much more emotion and weight to them. We tend to hold onto things and beat ourselves up. We think of ourselves as a fuck ups, and we question our worthiness. Those are the automatic negative thoughts (ANTs), a term used by many experts. I call them my gremlins. They’re the little assholes that live in my brain and tell me terrible things about myself, and I know better than to listen to them. Because I take care of my brain and I’m self-aware, my gremlins usually lie dormant. Sometimes they’re sneaky little shits and hold me back without me realizing it. Sometimes they scream at me.
How to deal with ANTs: What you resist persists. Ignoring them won’t make them go away. Instead, welcome them. Ask them why they’re there. Sometimes they are trying to protect you. Sometimes it’s our perception of ourselves was put on us by someone else, such as parents who called their child stupid or childhood bullies. Humans internalize what other people say about us, especially at a young age.
Instead of ignoring or resisting the ANTs, thank them. Show those gremlins love. They’re more likely to disappear this way.
Breathe. Go easy on yourself. Remember that it’s not you, it’s your mind’s distortion of you. THIS is why and how people see you as a winner, warrior, good person and an awesome girl. If others think you’re those things than you are. If you don’t think you’re those things, it’s your distorted view of yourself that is caused by your brain.
What might help you out is to journal every evening. Reflect on your day and what went right. Take note of even the simplest of wins, such as “put my car keys in their usual home” “didn’t misplace my phone” and “showered.” It might help you notice that you have more wins than you think.
And every time you have a negative thought about yourself stop, breathe and BOMB it with love. Love it hard. Imagine that your heart is exploding with it. Imagine the love you feel for someone else (or a pet) and channel that. Those gremlins won’t know what hit them.