Hi KeepingUp, I am so sorry you are experiencing the tolls of ADHD. I too am in my 50’s and can relate to much of what you are saying with the exception of climbing the professional ladder which seems to be a challenge for me.
I understand about wanting people to know what’s going on with you so they don’t think you are lazy, crazy or stupid; but unfortunately for me when I did, it was used against me. So I guess one has to be very confident with the people they work with to disclose such personal information. We want to yell to the world that we are competent and intelligent but all too often the world is exceptionally cruel and uncaring.
Finding a therapist who specializes in ADHD or understands that it’s not an excuse (I find it disheartening having to convince someone who has a psychology degree of a person having ADHD), can be challenging leaving one wondering if help can be obtained; but keep searching. It took me over a year to find one that I was comfortable with.
Maybe changing your meds may help too. I personally take Vyvanse and it’s done wonders.