ADHD is super tough for parents and teachers at that age. The lack of self-awareness and self-control makes improving behavior super tough. You have to just be consistent and keep working at it.
I understand your fear of medication, especially if you had a bad experience yourself, but try to keep an open mind. My son started ADHD medication at age 6 and it has been enormously helpful. It helped slow his brain down enough to make him available to learn lagging skills, strategies, and coping mechanisms. Learn all you can about medication so you can make an informed decision, instead of simply a fear-based decision.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Trainer on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism