Reply To: Anger at surprises- are we dating ? Confused

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#80547
bearlyt
Participant

Help, I’m very confused I don’t know whether not she is taking a job or not taking a job and lack of communication is frustrating . My last Text from her was concerning her possible rental issue and I gave her critical information and let her make her own decision on what she needs to do. she was said that she wasn’t being mean, she’s just busy and all stressed out and I told her I understood and then the next day I sent a text telling her that I know she is stressed and busy I’m not avoiding or ignoring her and I’m here for her.

Now during the last week she’s gone into the office where she’s been volunteering and it doesn’t appear that she’s making any definitive actions towards movin- she hasn’t contacted me at all in the last week no phone calls no texts nor stopping by.

There’s also not been a blockage on Facebook and said to me, nothing saying don’t call me/don’t talk to me/don’t contact me or anything like that so I don’t think she’s mad at me.

I do think she was possibly depressed that she couldn’t take the job based on her own financial circumstances and I hope that she doesn’t blame me for it not working out for her, because I gave her that very critical information that I thought was relevant to her safety.

I think early on in the relationship I may have come across as being needy and now concerned that I might have pushed her away and I don’t know what to do now, other than to sit back and wait for her to contact me. I miss talking to her and visiting with her. We both sent mixed messages about wanting or not wanting a ltr.. I was fearful to lose her by admitting it, because she was acting scared of ltr, but I gave actions showing otherwise.. I know I need to fix that, but she was showing signs of ltr, but would state excuse of why couldn’t be together.. it’s frustrating and we kept this dance up.. till I fumbled and then fell in line with her words ie “not now” and I stated I understood her career is first and I was not in the equation. ( did I screw up?)

Does anybody who’s got ADHD have any solutions or ideas or how I should proceed, behave, or how I should communicate because I’m getting lost and I don’t want to lose my closet friend and a potential Ltr. I have been pouring over all sorts of books, videos, and learning as much as I can. But that only goes so far. Help please.