Reply To: ADD Man + ADD Woman = Anything?

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#80329
B0Peep
Participant

LOL. Your ADHD is loud and clear. The run on sentences punctuated by capital letters are a solid hint.

Seriously though – I second a ton of what you said. Especially the last part about being with a planner/therapist. I always dated “bad” girls growing up because they appreciated my quiet confidence and wacky sense of humour. Mostly though I liked them because I was to shy with introductions so they made them and also because they were damaged people like me so they were appreciative of my good points and didn’t sweat the bad. Think I will return to this habit.

I have been married for over 10 years to a severe OCD planner and martyr type. For many years I took the superficial view everyone else had that her generosity was great and I thought I could use her example to make myself a person to be proud of in mirroring her. The trouble was the constant drama and the fact that she NEVER allows anyone to pay her back. Everyone in her life feels spiteful of her because she makes us feel guilty. For so many years I thought (and she likey does) that I drove her friends away but it was her. Through the fights I kept saying an old Tragically Hip line “I’ll do the rolling, you do the details”. I still think it was a perfect plan for ADHD and I did follow through but she refuses to see it like that.

I agree with your key point and it is rather simple. We need someone who can not just deal with our mess and faults but laugh at them. In real love your partners faults are always the parts you miss most when they are out of sight (even for the day).

As for dating someone with ADHD – yes, wonderful idea but BE CAREFUL. Take your time, carefully document each of your weaknesses (openly) and strengths and, like a business merger, see if you complement each other in practical terms. If you don’t have that, eventually when life gets rough you will resent each other for the chaos. If you do have it, it won’t get rough because you can always comfort each other :). Good luck.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by B0Peep.