First time on this site. Wow! I’ve learned so much just from this post. Thank you.
My son is 13 yrs. old with ADD and a physical disability. He’s on meds and goes to counseling regularly. Unfortunately, the ADD adds to the difficulty making friends. Right now, we’re dealing with social media and the phone usage. I was totally against a smart phone. My family and husband insisted my son have one to “feel like belonging” and “connecting to friends”. Well, he’s had it for less than a year and we’ve had to take it away several times for making multiple social media accounts, bad grades, and plain addictive behavior with the phone. Dear Husband (DH) swore that he’ll supervise our son’s (DS) Instagram just so that DS could feel included with his friends. Yeah, husband just figured out DMs (direct messaging) and DH was horrified at what he found my son was doing. Nothing rated R, just highly embarrassing behavior. Harassing kids to follow him, repeating questions to friends over an over, etc. It’s almost to the point of stalking just to try to make friends on social media.
When we asked our son about this, he just broke down and started screaming at us. He said he didn’t have friends, but back tracked and said maybe only 4-6. Lying is a reflex for him. We’ve told him that the lying, inability to regulate what he does, etc. adds to the difficulty of making friends. Big fish stories are a thing for him. He just can’t stop telling these stories that are complete lies. We know it’s used as a facade to try to cover the ADD and physical disability. It’s just heartbreaking to see him struggle so much.
At this point, he’s had all his electronics taken away from him. We know we’ll have to give him a phone for safety, but DH and I are debating about a dumb phone (just SMS, no internet) or back to the smart phone. DH says the dumb phone won’t prevent our son from SMSing kids inappropriately.