Reply To: I wish I could be fixed.

#79422
bushytail
Participant

Hello, StillplaysMC(I am assuming that means Mine Craft). Just wanted to agree with several of the comments made above about your ability to write very well, I think that is something often overlooked as far as intelligence goes. I am 24 and have only been diagnosed several years ago, when I was 19. I had absolutely terrible grades in High School and college up until the last several semesters I have attended, not even joking my GPA was less than a 1.0. Like you, I have had a difficult time trying to develop meaningful relationships and have also had a father that is quite condemning and unemotional towards my thoughts and opinions. It has taken me a long time to recognize (as is also mentioned above) that it truly does depend on who I want to communicate with and share my feelings, which as of lately has been only my therapist. It can be quite frustrating having someone tell you you’re incapable due to your own lack of willpower, when in your head all you want to do is “focus” and be present in the situation you’re thrust into emotionally, academically, or socially. As redundant as it sounds, it will get better but it does take quite a bit of practice. Although medications worked great for me at first I didn’t want to maintain them as I didn’t like the “zombified” effect that they made me feel, at least with the extended release varieties I was taking. One of the best things I have found to help me focus mentally and articulate emotionally is running. I choose to run several days a week because it does make me feel a lot less overwhelmed or depressed, even if it is for a limited amount of time. Making sure to eat a well balanced diet of fruits and vegetables is essential to maintain a good blood sugar and to prevent even more volatile exacerbated moods, which as an ADHD person come and go like clockwork. Believe me when I say, I’m sure there are going to be many teachers and counselors you will meet who have nothing but your best interest at heart. It can be quite difficult to believe people (especially adult male figures) when you have the situation you are dealing with at home, but if they are competent enough (and I feel like you are definitely competent enough to differentiate) they will want nothing but to lend a helping hand or a guiding mind academically and personally. If you haven’t heard of the concept before, I would look into the concept of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (essentially being subjective about your thoughts in order to alter how they occur the next time a similar situation arises). This way of thinking, although sometimes hard to follow or allowing to happen, is very beneficial to helping you realize much about how your brain is hardwired and how it effects you in day-to-day life. It is okay to fear for your future, that’s a very admirable trait that I unfortunately shaded with pseudo-apathy when I was younger, but know that as you grow older each day and deal with more situations domestically or otherwise you can and will be a successful individual professionally, personally, romantically, or academically so long as you hold onto the desire to better yourself and better your situation. I wish you the best of luck and feel for your situation very intimately as someone who has had similar instances… P.S. I still play Runescape at 24 :3