Reply To: Telephone Avoidance

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#79421
Cat
Participant

Amen to this! The amount of messages I get from dissatisfied people (mostly men tbh) upset over my unreliable social media and phone use is a joke. I try my best with my closest circle, but that takes genuine effort to maintain and it seems like everyone Tom, Dick, and Harry expects the same from me.

Only my Mum, Dad and a friend get immediate responses and answered calls. They’ve always had a genuine reason for contacting me – won’t drag me into an irrelevant conversation. The whole world seems to expect the same standard, and to be honest, when I message people, pretty much the whole world affords me this standard. – So, I don’t have anywhere to run here.

It takes a real toll on my self perception. It’s hard not to view yourself as a selfish person, when everyone else seems to find these levels of communication second nature, but me. Makes me wonder if I’m just a shitty friend who doesn’t care enough about other people, which confuses me, because I’m sure I do care for people, but in this regard, my actions say otherwise.

I set alarms and send text messages TO MY OWN NUMBER :/ reminding me to text people back etc. Nothing works. I hear the alarms but don’t take notice and shut them down, not realising what they were for, and I don’t read my own text messages, alike everyone else’s. Ink fades from my hands and other people never come through when I ask them not to let me forget (fair enough, neither would I).

To everyone else, these things seem unachievabley easy. Yet when I get caught up feeling obliged to have a phone conversation, I get frustrated by how unproductive I’m being. They just seem to take ridiculous amounts of time and concentration. I can’t understand how most of the world gets things done whilst simultaneously reliably replying to various forms of messages – But they do!?