You can use the technology to control the technology. 1)iPads have built in parental controls called “Guided Access”, where you can set up a parent account and set limits for the student’s account to limit to certain apps, time durations, etc. https://www.howtogeek.com/251365/how-to-set-a-screen-time-limit-on-your-iphone-or-ipad-with-guided-access/ . There are also apps like ScreenTime which allow you to control multiple children’s devices from your personal device, including giving them more time on the fly as a reward, and Moment. 2) There are a lot of apps on the other hand which work WONDERFULLY with ADHD–Habitica uses a game-challenge design to establish and reinforce habits and routines. Brill lets you set up routines for your student and the program guides them through the steps with reminders and alarms, just for starters. 3) I would be MUCH MUCH more worried about social media access than games. Games are rewarding, they help with focus, they help with problem solving (and coordination if they’re using a console). Social media on the other hand has been linked to negative self-esteem, decreases empathy and facilitates bullying. Gaming still needs to have a time limit put on it, but it has a lot of positives
One thing the teachers are right about–interacting with computers and tablets is the future. Your child NEEDS to develop the skills in problem solving which come from learning how to use various apps for them to succeed. They’re also the social common ground your child will be encountering at school, so eliminating screentime and games completely will isolate them from their peers. AND it doesn’t teach them how to establish healthy boundaries down the road, when you can’t control everything they watch and do. Focus now on laying down habits and rules which they can internalize, and make their off-screentime as rewarding as possible. And if you can link their screentime towards furthering your student’s passions and interests, that’s even better because they will learn that the iPad is a tool, not a toy.