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I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 6 and they definitely got the diagnosis right! Even though I have calmed with age (29 now), I am still hyperactive when my Ritalin wears off during the day and you are certainly not alone.
I’m super awkward in social situations even when my meds are in my system. I will blurt out crap and other people will look at me like they can’t believe I said that or they don’t know how to react. At work I type loud, I talk loud, I walk loud. It’s part of who I am and as hard as I try to be “normal” I can’t mask my ADHD when it comes to those little annoying ‘ticks’ I have. It’s frustrating because people don’t understand why I can’t just “calm down”. I’ve learned that I have to accept myself the way God made me and I can’t let other people bother me who ridicule me or can’t understand why I do and say certain things. It takes a long time to not care what others think, especially if you yearn to be liked and want so badly to please other people.
I developed anorexia when I was in elementary school and I struggled with it all through school and then I developed bulimia in college. I despised myself so much because of things that I could not control and I thought that if I could just control my body and appearance to look a certain way I would be happier with myself and other people wouldn’t mind my awkwardness so much because I waa skinny and pretty. I went through treatment 4 years ago and if it wasn’t for that and my wonderful support system I would probably still be living at my parents with no idea of what I wanted to do with my life except going out every night getting drunk and showing off my skinny little a$$ and looking for the wrong kind of guys to give me some sort of gratifcation for the torture I was inflicting on myself to stay ‘pretty’.
I surround myself with people who have no time for drama and who love me for me, ticks and all. That seems to have been the best way for me to recover from my eating disorders as well as learn who I am and what my passions and interests are without that demon constantly holding me back.
I still have issues with my weight. 2 years after treatment I had gone from 129lbs to 207lbs. I was discovering all the foods that I had never EVER let myself enjoy before and it caught up to me, quickly. I was a new woman with impulsivity issues on top of ADHD and apparently my body and my mind needed and for the first time wanted to eat! Now 4 years after treatment I’ve stayed steady at 188lbs for the past year. I need to lose quite a bit more to be truly healthy but ADHD makes it so difficult to find the motivation to eat right and exercise. Especially when for so long I could find the will power to stop eating and I would lose 10 lbs in a week. Now if I even look at a freaking donut I will gain 2lbs. Anyone else have issues with instant gratifciation and losing weight?
Sorry, I got on my soap box for awhile with this post. But girl, you are not alone!
- This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by bmck89.