Reply To: Relationships and Emotional Articulation

#79237
rebell90
Participant

I didn’t realize like Penny said above that adhd ‘ers like myself (and you) struggle with emotional regulation. It caused a lot of misdiagnosis, thus improper treatment. On Adderall XR right now, it does help me create the “pause” my therapist works with me on. I just feel deeply, and believe I have no chose but to act on the feelings I have at that moment, then I regret. Not just with anger, but I can get boisterous off my meds and come off the wrong way, then when I finally realize it (too late at that point), I get so embarrassed. My biggest emotional/ relationship struggle currently (though going up in med helped) is connecting with people and not being so bored. I literally get bored communicating when it’s bit stimulating enough. And even with people I love deeply. Being back on meds (just has a baby) has helped me pause to listen to others and be more self-aware that I can come off self-centered when I don’t mean to. Active listening helps, and looking people in the eye, I have trouble with that. I don’t think bc of Shame or anything, I just do. I’ve heard adhd described as chronic boredom, so true for me. And I do feel guilty bc my life is amazing now, but I still get bored—starting back up my computer programming job has helped get that need for stimulation out though. So for emotions, don’t give up. Create a “pause” before you react (I set reminders on my phone randomly to take a breath and pause. At first even after a pause I still made the bad choice, but now I’m making good ones more than bad—the pause was the hardest part!! And just know feelings are not facts. Meditation, prayer, intense cardio, therapy, and even just knowing emotional deregulation is a facet of adhd helps me (makes me feel less alone). And don’t give up, deep breathing (5 seconds in, 5 second hold, -0 seconds exhale is what I do). I set the reminders bc otherwise I’d forget completely. Hopefully that may help ya.