Sounds to me like he is a bit lost and behind, so he’s giving up on trying. As a Mom, I spend countless after school hours working with my child to cross check what she is doing. I look for weekly homework to see if she is falling behind, way behind, or what subjects she is doing well in. Look at percentages, not 123 scores which tell you nothing. There is nothing more demotivating than being lost on a subject from years past and not having someone to help you catch up. The HS tutors only help a little.
We are due for an IEP this month. I am curious to see if it will really do anything. Due to complications, my daughter is off meds (tried once). We have constant homework battles and it takes her a long time to get any writing done that is acceptable. I have found great articles and downloads (free) from Additude Magazine. Just found one tonight on how to help kids write.
Be your child’s advocate. The school is required to help them be successful. As parents though….we all need to continually search and reach out for tricks of the trade that other people have learned.
Take things one day at a time. If he is behind, try to get back to where he got lost and work forward, along with trying to keep up with daily demands. Be on top of them for a daily planner and writing things down, and checking it off together each night. Review all the homework. If he failed, ask to take it again and ask for help. We all know, the further we move onward, the more difficult it will become – especially if you lost a step in a prior grade level.
For not sitting down….maybe look into meds. It really did help my daughter on that front, and focus….but other side effects were too much and we also have other factors unnamed that affect things. Hugs and best wishes to you and your son. We will all figure out a way to help them be successful. Breathe, and try to maintain patience.