Well.. all for naught. I guess I can think this is part of her ADHD- but she had job, here, and with seniority for increasing wages, etc..
Since I have known her, several years she worked here and there. Never did I hear bad things. But as I watched over the last two years, I have seen the conflict in workplace occur, in her last permanent hire, to the point she quit after a getting a temp seasonal job here. She has had a great boss here, one of understanding and complete faith in her abilities. But this is not enough and she was and has been looking for another permanent position pretty much anywhere. She would tell me and she would see the hurt and fear in my eyes..of losing her..
Every time I heard it it may heart hurt because I do love her, and don’t want my freind to go. I will miss her terribly. But as mature non-ADHD I understand she must grow and be herself. I had been getting all the mixed messages and believe she feared a real relationship with us, because of her pain, and what she might assume I may think if I really knew her. The last month has been confusing.
Well – today she was offered and accepted a permanent job elsewhere more than a few hours away and the prospect of another opportunity in another state. She applies for more jobs, when she has one..if when she has one, she was always looking. ADHD trait? Well answers are not what I am looking for.
I’m worried. I worried that she will go and find out, that is not what it’s cracked up to be. I know now at this time and maybe never that we may never happen. Fear of relationship, fear of being hurt. She stated that we would never happen, and that hurt as well, because the indications were we moving forward albeit slow.
I’m surprised she didn’t tell me first, and that hurt. I am sad very sad. She has no concept what she has done for me this last year.. I will miss helping her, walking with her, shopping, and being around her.. I will miss everything. Ughhh why.
She will call me, I know this. For what I don’t know.
She has to move forward and I know I have too.. but damn.. I’m her freind. I will always take her call. Life is so cruel. Dang it.. ( I would use harsher words but I respect you all)
Pray for her.. I will be.