Oh my goodness – that was exactly me 6 years ago. I had already been working for an animal hospital for 13 years. I absolutely loved my job and woke up everyday with a smile on my face. During that last year though, I felt I was unravelling. I didn’t know I was dealing with ADD yet. It seemed, each morning, I would confess to my friend, who was one of our veterinarians, that I always seem to be exhausted and overwhelmed by everyday routines. On top of that, I had a witchy colleague (hired by the owner/main vet of the hospital who knew her through his very beloved church) who kept an eye on me all day, complaining regularly to my boss/her friend from church that I don’t pull my weight, I’m forgetful, I don’t always do a thorough job of preparing for the next days appointments before I go home, etc. – which, to me, was unfathomable. I had regularly, through the years, often been complimented by the veterinarians and clients alike and told that I would be irreplaceable. Well, after yet another oocasion of my witchy colleague talking behind my back (if I didn’t supply her with any gunfire, she’d invent her own or would over exaggerate any problem I have/had). I personally, always thought she didn’t like me because I had such a good rapport with many of our clients – jealousy). On this occasion, I just blew up. I know my forgetfulness seemed to be getting worse but I always said that I would quit once it would (if ever) get to the point that I could endanger an animal in our care. Now, since my colleague decided to call me out again, I just exploded and decided on that day, to quit my beloved job. Since then, it took me another three years to find out why I always seemed exhausted. My psychiatrist (treating me for depression and anxiety) had a new theory – it could be sleep apnea. I thought, because I didn’t snore, the visit to a sleep clinic would be a waste of time. I have severe sleep apnea!!! For years, I always wanted to sleep on my side, but because I was struggling with (chronic)inflamed rotator cuffs from years of lugging huge bags of dog food, lifting big dogs onto the surgery tables, etc., I could not comfortably sleep on my side without hurting my tender shoulders. And, when I tried sleeping on my back, I was informed that my throat closes off my breathing. So – in other words – I was always tossing and turning the whole nights through without getting any proper restful sleep!!!
Now that that problem was solved, I had to find out why I could never relax, concentrate on tasks properly, forget things so easily. That answer came a year later – I HAVE ADD!!! I know when I first heard that and wholeheartedly agreed after hearing the symptoms, I must have cried for at least an hour.
With this story, I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one going through this. And, because you also used the word “overwhelmed”, maybe part of those feelings also due to sleep apnea. Do yourself a favour and get it checked out! I wish you all the best! I have not gone back to a full time job since the animal hospital. I now volunteer three days a week at my local humane society which I love doing – lots of TLC with the four leggers and socializing with other animal lovers!
Unfortunately, since the day I found out that I have ADD, nothing has made my ADD any easier to live with. Since trying many ADD drugs unsuccessfully, I am back to the first ADD drug I was ever on – generic Ritalin, and still do not believe it is effectful. Has anybody out there had any huge success with their ADD drugs?