Reply To: Take Responsibility

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I don’t think it matters if a person has ADHD or not, we ALL must take responsibility for our actions. This world is full of those refusing to take responsibility, and instead play the “victim card”, or even worse, somehow just believe they are “entitled”…I guess by default? I will hold the subject of entitlement for another day, but I do have something to say about the victim situation…

Rather it’s because of ADHD, or you feel like a victim for some other reason, know this…even if you ARE a victim and have had some horrendous experiences in life, even if you have lived a life of misery and injustice, that card does NOTHING, but hold you back. Do NOT give into it! Being the “victim” gives you an excuse, and excuses, once again, hold you back. If you choose to see yourself as a victim, you will never empower yourself to rise above. Instead of trying, and failing, and getting back up, and trying again, and again, until you FINALLY get it right, you will try and fail, and after a time or two, you will allow yourself to quit because…you’re a “victim”, you “just can’t do better” “life will just never get better” for you. Please excuse this, but that is BS! Do NOT do that to yourself. Get up, dust yourself off, and make a true decision to overcome whatever’s holding you back, no matter how many times you fail in the process. And remember this…every successful person has failed time and time again, WE just don’t take NOTICE of them until they’ve reached success.

I was someone who had a hard time doing mundane tasks, and I would let them go, until they came up to bite me in the butt. I have read so many organizational, time-management, “get your crap together” posts, I can’t even give you a count. I would try to use their ideas, and not one of them worked for me! But what DID work, in the end, was a combination of ideas that I collected from many posts. All of the things that work for one person, are probably not going to work for you, BUT if you don’t quit, you don’t give up, and you keep trying, keep pressing forward, you WILL find what works for you. I know this is just a small example, but it’s the same process that works on most everything in life.

I’m currently in the process of starting a small business…I say “in the process of”, but I have been in this “process” for a LONG time, long enough that I don’t want to confess the exact amount of time, OK? Yes, that long. My first set back was that I found myself moving, but not truly making progress. It took me a while to figure that out. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t see what it was at first. Thankfully, I was finally able to step outside of the situation and see what was happening. I wasn’t keeping a narrow focus, I was all over the place. I could have quit then, and at one time, I would have, but instead, I redirected, and started making some progress.

Here recently, I found myself in another dilemma. I found myself not wanting to do some of the main tasks in my business that I had once LOVED. It got so bad, that I was almost getting sick, at only the THOUGHT of doing them. Again, I knew SOMETHING was wrong, but I was like WTH? I finally did some research, and figured out that everyone around me was right…(LOL). As it turns out, I have a perfectionist mindset. I thought a perfectionist was someone who did everything perfectly all of the time, you know, those who’s homes and cars always look pristine, and they, themselves always look like they have it together? I knew THAT wasn’t me, but no. A perfectionist is someone who WANTS to do everything perfectly all of the time, but can’t, and gets really, REALLY pissed at themselves, because they can’t…and that IS me.

Of course, there are “reasons” a person develops this mindset. As I was reading those reasons, memories came flooding back. These are memories I have put at the very back of my mind, and that’s where I want to keep them; however, that night, I allowed myself to think about them some, and oh, did I have a big ole’ silent pity-party! But, here’s the deal…I can choose to focus on those thoughts that bring me to tears, and I can quit, once again giving up ANOTHER dream, or I can choose to push those memories back where they belong, get up, dust myself off, and focus on overcoming this mindset I’ve developed. Which attitude is going to help me? Which is going to hurt me?

I think we all have these decisions to make. Honestly, there probably isn’t a person around who couldn’t play the victim card, some would have more right than others, and believe me, I know there are those out there who’ve had it far worse than myself; but my point is, why allow those situations any more of your time? Why allow them any more of your joy, or hope, or confidence, or self-worth?

Only YOU can choose to make YOUR situation better, but you DO have that choice. I say, for once…choose YOU! 😉