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#78404
LisaLewisLMT
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52 with ADD and learning disabilities. Sccarr, I’d love to talk. I was miss diagnosed with bipolar and given horrible meds, diagnosed with depression because I was depressed and given medication for that. It didn’t work. Seperated from every conversation because I had ADD and unable express myself to be part of projects left me to just follow. Always told I needed to “learn” something and trying harder. Not so. Angry and frustrated with a history of abuse I did what I do best , I fought. I didn’t like drugs, but when I was 21 I tried meth. It worked. I became addicted. (27 years clean now) I know that being properly medicated was key for me. The drug wasn’t the problem. It was the solution for me. Properly medicated I began to be able to execute my thoughts and grow in EVERY AREA OF MY BEING. Inside and out. It sickens me to see ritalin toted as being so bad. Zoloft is worse. Being treated with antidepressants because using a methamphetamine is thought of as bad when the methamphetamine ends the problem causing the depression. Insane. I began to achieve goals and feel good. But not until I was in my late 30’s. I am now on Concerta. Time release ritalin. When the dose was too low it left me “almost there”. If a normal person took the dose I take that makes me function they would disfunction badly. I also use alot of nutrition for the brain. Protein, protein, protein. And don’t take the coffee away. We are not like normal people. Add L-THEANINE if feeling jittery, 5-htp at night, Brain Link(Amazon), Dr. Stern’s RELAX at night, LUNA at night. The BEST part is I take medication vacations. I find the awesome super over developed parts of me that I call gifts from having ADD and go with that flow. I pay people to do things I “can’t” do. So much better that way.
It takes me 2 days to wrap my head around new information and schedule changes. Spontaneous is painful. People make up what ADD is and isn’t. It is hyperfocus being interrupted in highly intelegent people. Vipassana 10 day course gave me the biggest clue’s to what I needed. Quiet, peaceful flow uninterrupted, don’t move my things or think interrupting me to ask if you can help me would help me. It takes me out of my flow and messes me up. If I need help, I will ask. I’m capable. Stop watching. Hovering is a distraction and creates people pleasing. Set the goal and talk about how to get the independence in place. Self esteem rather than parent esteem in small solid foundational doses. Morning routine leads to having what’s next and having what’s next leads to more self power. I had to figure this out on my own. I can’t imagine having help. There is so much more to say. I still think talking is better. Hope this much helps. The only drug that I am on now is Concerta and ritalin. My morning ritalin taken with my concerta means I can get ready without setting my mood in the fight to get there before I go. Exhausted before I get started. We call it my download. I don’t engage in conversation before my “download”. It’s just easier on everyone. And we laugh about it. As well as all the other faux pas’s I live with. I don’t allow people who shame or hurt me around anymore. It is literally me they are cutting to ribbons with useless ideas of how to improve on perfect. I’m tapping my gifts, not persing the box they put me in.