Not a parent, but a kid who sounded a lot like your son does.
He will get a job. Eventually the need for money will propbably outweigh the lack of motivation. I don’t think you realize the rabbit hole you’re asking for though.
When he gets a job he won’t be home, he will have an alibi to do pretty much whatever he wants, he will probably end up having more money than he really knows what to do with and he’ll end up blowing it on things he doesn’t need or worse. I started smoking weed daily when I had a job. If you trust him its not a big deal or a big risk, but just keep an eye out. If I were you right now I would let him work things out at his own pace, the boy has the rest of his life to spend working.
When it comes to college planning, try not to worry too much, he’s not behind at all. I’d ask him about what colleges he’s interested in and if it’s viable go tour some campuses over the summer. After that, throughout senior year, push him to apply, his teachers at school will pester him about it constantly too, he will (most likely) get it done.
As someone with ADHD I can personally say (about the phone issue) that it’s mentally VERY hard for me to not check my phone constantly. I get bored, there’s not too much better to do, I’ll check my phone. It’s habitual and when you have a girlfriend you also have social pressure to respond that adds on to your pre-existing habit. High school girls now-a-days get mad when you don’t reply to their texts in a timely fassion too.
I’m not pretending to understand your family dynamic, also his immaturity may be worse than I imagine, but growing up in a household with 2 Kids with ADHD, 2 kids with autism spectrum disorder, 1 with bipolar, 1 with bulimia, and 3 with depression has taught me a few things about how to deal with children with mental health problems. I’d say be happy he isn’t out with his friends smoking weed everyday like I was doing and is maintaining decent grades, unlike me at the time. The screen time doesn’t seem like as big of a deal to me if they’re aren’t any major problems that it is causing. If I am being 100% honest it seems like he is doing fine and will be fine on his current path. Currently I am a junior engineering student with a 3.2 GPA with much worse circumstances than the ones you mentioned and a 2.7 GPA in HS.
Take this all with a grain of salt though, I have never been a parent and respect your authority to do whatever you see fit.
– Hope this at least gives some perspective 😁
- This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by CollegeishardwADHD. Reason: Typos and an addition