Reply To: Family

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#78329
LisaLewisLMT
Participant

It’s my story as well. I came from a family that passed me over. Didn’t invite me to Christmas or Thanksgiving. Not even to family reunions. They honestly thought I was hopeless and would not amount to anything. And so it was hard. I didn’t have anyone help me find d answers to overcome the barriers to life. Others had the same solution. When people saw something was different about me, the went I to retreat. I had to develop ways to hide the disfunction so my strengths could shine. I thought that having a diagnosis would help. We live in a country that has to have laws to accommodate anyone with a disability. As I began to see the error in my thinking that people would be ok hearing what I needed and be happy to accommodate me, I realized it applied across the board. My family was no different. No one cares enough to get to know what I needed. No one wants to spend the energy on a looser. Everyone avoids. This turned out to be a blessing. I quit saying I have ADD and started finding was to teach people how to treat me with respect. Not a pretty process. But those who have no respect for me and my brilliance have no place in my life. It’s my God given birth right to live. I made up alot of fantastic ideals about family just to be hurt by my unshared values. It gets lonely but I don’t care. I didn’t expect them to reach out or care anymore and they were not reaching out anyway. It was all on me. I dropped a huge burden when I realized I was the deer in the headlights watching and waiting for them to notice me. They were not thinking of me at all. Worst grief of my life. I lost them all. I lost parents, grandparents, 2 daughters and 6 grandkids. I lost being a mother and grandmother. I lost my past and future ideas. Not ok with me. Not what I was hoping or dreaming for in this life. Now my life is getting good. And none of them know it. The grief subsided.