My ADHD kids are 11 (girl) and 8 (boy). They really dislike each other most of the time. I also have a neurotypical girl between them in age. I feel so badly for her when her siblings create a loud and negative environment.
Leah, I must have said “No talking unless you can be kind” every day this week! It’s gotten me nowhere. I’m mostly writing to commiserate with y’all because it is so tough to witness, especially when nothing I try gets us to a happier, calmer space.
Once when my 2 were at their worst I made them walk around a small pond holding hands. It was probably about 1/4 mile and I could see them the whole time. It was in the evening and I said they couldn’t come back in until they did it. As expected, they finished the walk as friends. Of course the next day they were at it again, but we got through the previous night before things escalated to unacceptable levels.
We just got a dog that they both love, so next time they’ll be walking the dog together.