Reply To: The foreigner

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#78322
MattColo
Participant

mhorst6320, your son probably feels the way he always has, so “fine” is probably reasonable. 13 was hell for me. I had just moved half way around the world, I didn’t understand people, and school just flat out sucked. But if my parents had asked me how I felt, I probably would have said fine. I would not have said I feel stupid. I didn’t “feel” stupid. I just had a big suspicion that I *was* stupid. And I didn’t want to admit that to anyone, not even my parents. I think I bottled a bunch of crap up. The fact that you have a diagnosis (my guess) is good. At that age, I think all I really wanted was unconditional love. I had a dad (and still have him) that just wanted to help me fix issues with memory and studying and a bunch of other stuff none of us understood. Sometimes fixing problems is counter productive. The one time I felt close to him, and I really mean the only time, was when he told me he had mediocre grades in school as well. And then it was gone. When your son looks like shit, just go give him a hug. You can’t solve all the problems. Don’t worry about what’s in his head. I understand you need to still hold him accountable, but you and mom are the only ones that can give him love. And he needs that as well.

Sooo, this is bringing up a lot more emotion then I thought. If this were any other forum I’d erase it and move on. But it seems right that I leave it. Good luck.