Exactly! You cannot compare your child to same-age peers when you child has ADHD. What works for others may not work for your child, and vice-versa. The sooner you throw out traditional, age-appropriate expectations, the better your entire family will be. That alone will reduce the stress a great deal. That includes seeing and accepting who your child really is, and where they are today, in this moment — I call it honoring your child’s truth. It’s vital for kids with ADHD.
If your son really is very clear and driven about his future year, a gap year may not be as much of a challenge as you see it. I always through it would be too hard to get kids to go back to school after a gap year. Now, I realize that some kids really need that extra year to mature and learn lagging skills that will be required for success in higher education. A gap year can even boost confidence, another trait that really helps in college.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism