Reply To: Telephone Avoidance

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Relationships Telephone Avoidance Reply To: Telephone Avoidance


I, too, am amazed that I am not alone in this. I have been X’d by so many people over the years because I don’t answer phone calls and have an extremely difficult time returning phone calls, so for the most part I don’t. Naturally, people take it personally. I get that. People,including extended family, think I have no interest in them because I don’t call them back. That’s not usually the case. It has gotten worse over the years. As a criminal defense attorney I am forced to return calls to maintain my practice. However, I tell clients I prefer to text because I am in court a lot and I can respond to them quicker. The vast majority of clients have no problem with it but there are some that want to talk on the phone period. I cannot count the number of times I get messages like, “CAN YOU PLEASE CALL ME BACK? I KNOW YOU’RE BUSY BUT I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU.”
To Bunneyoo, I think my anxiety was triggered when I was 31, I am 56 now, and my son died in a sudden accident. I shut down. I refused to talk on the phone. In hindsight I think the stress of having to deal with other people’s emotions, words of condolences, etc. was too much. I have never recovered from my phone anxiety. Maybe that’s part of your deal too. I don’t know.
I never answer my door. Even if it’s UPS delivering a package I am anxiously (no pun intended) waiting for. I guess we just learn ways to deal with this after a while. Medication has helped with a variety of other issues but nothing has ever addressed this. Unless it’s business related or an absolute must to answer the phone, remember that the phone is for our convenience not the other persons.