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This is challenging! Living together is hard enough for neurotypical people, even more so when both of you have non-typical brains. Even though you both love each other and would never intentionally hurt each other, the reality is that you do. It sounds like you both want it to work, so my advice is to practice more empathetic listening to each other. http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/5-tips-for-empathetic-listening.html
Number 5 is the one that is the most difficult and that feels extremely awkward and “fake.” Make sure you actually understand what the other is trying to say! Sometimes this means asking and clarifying a sentence like five times before you can give your answer.
Another thing I recommend is the book “Don’t let your emotions run your life” which the two of you would probably both benefit from: http://a.co/4auEkzw
These things were recommended by my therapist, so my number 1 advice is of course to find professional help to help navigate daily life with ADD. It’s worth it, and you’re worth it.