Reply To: ADHD Husband & Unemployment

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#77017
nthildeb
Participant

Hello Mom2,

I am married to an adhd man for 21 years and have 2 adhd kids. It sounds encouraging that your husband is genuinely trying to find work and is communicating with you well. My story is similar, except my husband went unemployed for 13 years and slipped into depression. He finally found a job when I learned how to put some of the pressure for supporting the family back on him. It is so easy for capable spouses to fall into an enabling pattern without realizing it. I don’t know if that is the case with you. I just want to encourage you to take care of yourself and lean on whatever you can from hubby for support. If there is someone u can talk to who can help you process the patterns, you may gain some insight into boundaries that could improve his focus. I confirmed at 48 yrs old that I also have adhd. I learned to compensate through hyper-focus at work and holding myself accountable to deadlines. I grew up very independent, so that forced me to power through or go hungry. It isn’t fun sometimes, but along with focusing on my strengths, it drove me to do what was needed to stay gainfully employed for most of my life. There are always options out there.