Reply To: Telephone Avoidance

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#76974
nvaranavage
Participant

With the massive amounts of phone calls I receive these days I hate talking on the phone. Most of them are telemarketers, but I have a few friends that call or text me numerous times a day to just talk for no reason. It’s these types of phone calls that really set my anxiety off because unless there is an important reason to be on the phone I don’t use the phone. It can be very hard to make others understand this. I’ve started using just one or two sentences to let people know that I have to get off the phone. The first: I’m sorry but I have many tasks to get done today so I can only talk for 10 minutes. The second: (not used as often) I’m sorry, but I am getting ready to step out and I do not talk on my phone while I am driving. They are legit statements because while at home I am trying to get a lot of projects done quickly, and I cannot multi-task them while on the phone because I am too focused on getting the housework done and miss what the person is telling me on the phone, and I refuse to talk on the phone while I am in my car. I don’t even use GPS, because being ADHD I need to be hyper focused on my driving and the other drivers around me.

I have a few friends that get upset when I don’t pick up the phone when they call my house line first, and then immediately call my cell. If I am in the middle of a task I do not answer the phone, and I have to explain to them all the time. I always say that I will call when I am finished with what I started because chances are if I interrupt myself I will never go back to finish the task. And if I am going to be on the phone I do not want my attention anywhere but talking to that person who called, just part of having the respect for them to have my complete, undivided attention.

But it is all about setting up the boundary at the beginning of the conversation to let them know how much time I have to be on the phone.