Reply To: Telephone Avoidance

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Relationships Telephone Avoidance Reply To: Telephone Avoidance

#76959
yvette.hyatt
Participant

I get this!!
I don’t get why, when you have spoken to the person 3 times in the same day, they still ask how you are?…ummmm…kinda the same as 2 hours ago!!??
I don’t get why someone would want to talk about everything in detail over the phone, unnecessary information for my brain to process!
For me, I just need to carry the simplified message across as if it were a telegram…just the details that matter.
I prefer to have deep and meaningful conversations face to face, that way I can see your expressions as you talk to me.
When I talk on the phone, I have to wait for the other person to finish talking…by then I am distracted by 10 other things, I have only heard the key words and I forget what I wanted to say in reply…then the party on the other side of the line thinks I am rude because I don’t converse or give them the detailed reply they are looking for. How many times have I heard: “are you not interested in talking to me?” “are you still there”, “am I boring you”, “you say something now”.
For example, if I have a conversation with my husband, he wants to tell me all about his day…in great detail, but in between I heard that I need to pick up my daughter – that is the piece of information that I will focus on so hard that I will just want to end the conversation, it helps to write it down…then suddenly my listening skills improve. I prefer that my husband tells me about his day when I can focus on him, he expects I should know what he is talking about based on our earlier telephone conversation (where I only heard some key words). I often stare in disbelief at an Aunt that can talk for 2 hours on the phone about stuff she spoke to the same person about a week ago, how is that not boring?? It would be boring to me, I don’t see the relevance in discussing the same thing over and over again when there is nothing to be learnt from it or it is not really interesting conversation. It seems a waste of time…time I could spend doing something rather than talking about it.
I fake it well for work because I have to use the phone…but I really prefer not to talk on the phone…to concentrate on a long work conversation I need to write notes or doodle.
I could probably go on about this subject the whole day, but I will sign off now.