Yeah, I really do like her a lot- I am in it for the long haul. She was adamant about us not being a couple in the beginning of our friendship, just buds, and freinds.
But one night we had done the deed, and I was supposed to be mechanical no feelings. Like not care, however we professed to each other that night before the deed. About how much we really cared and liked each other a lot, and loved each other as freinds. I walked away after, my professing and told we will never know unless we try to go forward. It will, it won’t, or it will be awesome.
So we sit with our decision of later that night. She professed her love me in such a sweet way, and I was taken back. It violated her rules she set. I smiled she didn’t see it. We both were very happy. But her emotional regulations she didn’t contact me for days. It hurt. I was confused. She then became defensive of the nice acts, which were always there before, helping, talking, buying gifts, etc..
I am dedicated, and she is so nice, loving, and so smart, and I just want to be around her. But we now have awkward silences occasionally and look at each other. Then we walk away or change the subject. I see it that she wants something. But what, I don’t want to be needy, or pushy.
That’s my confusion. I know she loves me before and after by her actions. But we are at a strange junction.
Good news for me.. Today I just recently was quasi offered a job in the same agency, and she had helped me get to this point. I haven’t been officially offered the job, but I was asked what station I wanted. I chose this one due to proximity to my own home, it less than two blocks from my home. I won’t have to drive to work, I can walk or ride.
I saw her today and not sure she knows, and she was nice and pleasant, and she was doin her job, but our little conversation and work related activity was foremost on my mind and hers.
I am there for her. Have been for along time and ADHD doesn’t scare me. Thank you for you own insight, and makes me feel so much better.
- This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by bearlyt.