Reply To: Telephone Avoidance

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Ok, first of all… HOLY ME TOO! I hate the phone and I have watched this hatred in me grow exponentially over the years! My hatred of it increases with time, in spite of various improvements and methods that I have had to come up with, in order to manage the various tasks that get me through each day. I must live with having ADD.

I don’t speculate that I MAY have ADD. My diagnosis came a little late (18 yrs old), which I find common among us with the inattentive type. Let’s just say though that I “have ADD” like Oprah “has money”!! There IS plenty to go around! My 13yr old son was also diagnosed w/raging inattentive type too. His dad/my ex wasn’t diagnosed, but if it were up to me, I would make him the poster child for inattentive ADD! I’m 110% sure he has it. And I am also certain that my mother gave it to me. No doubt.

ADD isn’t new. Which does lead me to wonder several things…
I am 38 yrs old (born in ‘79). I can clearly recall a time when we didn’t have the option to text. #GASP! We paid bills using paper checks, snail mail and crossed fingers in hopes the check cleared before the due date. Our credit cards had raised numbers on them because they required carbon paper to process them and probably weren’t a whole lot faster than waiting for checks to clear. Way back then, we didn’t have call waiting either. Answering machines were a small appliance, next to your telephone that had to stay home when you went out. It just sat there ringing and ringing if you weren’t home. So you HAD to buy it a partner appliance to keep it company, and stop the ringing. Largely, those who had an answering machine, were likely to fall somewhere around the middle to upper class tax bracket too. Answering machines didn’t work at all if you called someone while they were on the phone. The phone would give the caller a BUSY signal that sounded worse than… hmmm… worse than when your chip-enabled credit card gets inserted backwards? Aaaangh!! Aaaangh!! Aaaangh!!
My point is, things were WORSE then. By a lot! Granted, they didn’t know what improvements were coming to them in the future, so all of that was just accepted as how things simply WERE. But how on earth did the people with ADD NOT loose their FLIPPING minds?!? I was a kid then and I thank god for that! I would have likely been arrested at least a few times, if for nothing more than disturbing the peace, if my ADD brain were FORCED to deal with number of phone calls that my parents had to. Just – NO! Because, based on the level of irritation that I feel when someone attempts to call me or insists “we must talk on the phone”. Ugh!! #sidenote: I have yet to agree with a single one of those people, nor have I found one valid reason to say one single thing to me over the phone, that couldn’t have been said to me via any other method. Not one phone call worthy reason, what so ever.
Phone calls are entirely unnecessary. There is NO reason to call me. The actual phone feature on my cell phone is exclusively reserved for calling 911. And if YOU ever need 911, DONT CALL ME and ask ME to call 911 for you either… that’s simply poor time management, in the event of an emergency. You should have known better. XoD So now that feature is reserved exclusively for MY OWN 911 emergency… or perhaps if I am a witness to someone who lost their hands or arms and literally can’t call on their own… then maybe I will use my phone to call 911 on that poor person’s behalf. But otherwise, phone calls of any other nature should all be banned and perhaps punishable by cutting off the callers hands. <see what I did there? !o9

Lol! Did I go too far there?? I don’t think I did. I HATE PHONE CALLS!! If these people who call me claim to be my family or friends, then they should know NOT TO call me. I do apologize if I got a bit too colorful, but it gets my point across.

I HAVE however come up with at least ONE single, truly compelling, and genuinely valid reason WHY we (us with ADD) have such a venomous opposition to the use of that GD telephone.

<Insert drum roll here please…>

Here it is… Newsflash! Our memories STINK!!! We have an exhaustingly hard time paying attention!! When we can’t pay attention, we CAN’T RECALL most of the details of this “super important thing” that they just HAD TO say to us over the phone. They could have sent a text, sent an email or use any OTHER helpful tool that we have grown so debilitatingly reliant on. We have grown to rely on ANYTHING other than our own memories, as our primary means of receiving any kind of information that we might like to or need to reread, recall, revisit or make use of at a later time (be it electronic, paper, physical, etc…).
With any one of these other methods to use, we have all developed some semblance of a system to manage that tidbit of information. This relieves the burden placed on our nonexistent memory, which is some strange thing that the rest of the population seem to have been blasted with.
If this thing that they have to say to me is so “important”, then for the love of all that’s good, whatever you do, DON’T TELLLL me about it!! Help me to remember this important item for you, by NOT forcing me to play a memory card game, at the same time as I am already playing 52 pick-up and expect me to do well with that. ADD needs tangible, retrievable, hell even word SEARCHABLE methods of communication or you are setting us up to fail. That’s not helpful to either of us, or appreciated when there are so many other options.

Let’s leave it at this… to all of those who I know that still insist on the phone being a better means of communication, I say – good luck with that. Let us both hope that you know how to hitchhike, because if your plane ever gets delayed and you need ME to come get you in the middle of the night, I do hope that as your plane lands, and your phone battery is nearly depleted, that you DONT elect to call me to pick you up. Because if you do, 3 minutes after we end the call, I will have NO CLUE what gate you asked me to pick you up in front of or what time you would like me to be there. You had better call a cab with that sacred phone call, buddy. You could have used the last few drops of your battery life to send me the pertinent info in a text, but no… you had to do it “old school”.