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I would follow your gut and continue to look for answers. I’d also probably start with a very thorough OT evaluation. There are so many things they look at related to sensory, motor skills, etc that even if they don’t provide a solid diagnosis they will have tools that can help. Sometimes you do also have to let things go or find workarounds like you are doing. Tying shoelaces? Forget it – I buy Velcro shoes. Not worth the fight. Needs to fidget to concentrate? Try lots of things and find what works for him. Handwriting? My middle school son has been using an iPad to type written work since 4th grade. As adults we find our own habits and tools to help us deal with things we struggle with – I feel it’s ok to help kids find those same tools. Not everyone has to do things the same way to be happy and successful and the sooner our kids can realize that the more capable they will become at doing things their own way.