Reply To: Dating ADD and no response to texts

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#76515
bearlyt
Participant

Totally new to the ADHD site and seeking information , this is great. I am not ADHD.

I have been freinds with a gal for several years, whom we share many interests. I always found her quirky and unique. She is diagnosed ADHD and is on medication. She has been there for me in some dark times lately and I was there for her in hers. Our friendship has been I thought getting closer, but I was also frustrated about the lack of response to texts.

I saw that she will see the text, being she picks the phone up looks at it and set it down. Walks away. She does this to a lot of people, she also has tons of unanswered emails on her phone,she does this to family as well.

I broached her about this weekend as we had plans she made for us, the plans never happened, and she never communicated what was wrong, I could sense she was stressed about a project, I offered help/ assistance. I was not going to do it for her. She was frustrated and stated she was fine. ughhh- I gave her space and didn’t contact her or visit her.

I told her when she doesn’t answer a text it come across as her giving me the silent treatment.

(She knows what has happened to me, and was there for me.) She stated she was not giving me the silent treatment, and then she began being profane at me. I stopped her and said no I will not be cussed at.

She then explained that she did not decide to do the trip because of a different issue. She then stated she told her past boyfriend not to expect a immediate text, or good morning etc. She stated she told me this about her ex.

( uhh no, and I am not your boyfriend or attached to you)
(though I believe I am getting mixed messages that she wants more, despite her resistant to us being a couple. ) that’s another issue.

But she clearly stated if she wants a immediate response she will call me, she wants me to call her if I need immediate response or need anything. I told her that is fair, and I understand.

She then texted me at 1115 in the evening about wierd problems near her place. I responded within seconds. So confused.

So anomalocaris I appreciate your input, it rings true to what I heard. It’s too much for her to deal with all of the texts and stuff.