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Remembering that it’s not a personal attack will help you to stay calm with him, which is absolutely paramount.
Explosive behavior often comes from lagging skills (like frustration tolerance, flexibility, etc…) and/or feeling like no one truly listens or understands them. Ross Greene is the explosive behavior “guru.” I highly recommend you read his books, The Explosive Child and Raising Human Beings. His approach is life-changing. Here’s an overview of it:
Kids with ADHD are also often very intense.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism