Reply To: Teen admittedly quit trying at school


I could have written this story myself, as I feel I have lived this life too. My son, 7th grade now, has learned helplessness and learned that if he just refuses work, gets himself in trouble by yelling, saying a bad word, or whatever, he will get to leave the situation…and he is correct! This has happened so many times in the past two years, we are homeschooling now. My son, ASD, ADHD, dysgraphia, anxiety, has been lost in the cracks in the fact that he has always been the same kid that needs a lot of help and supports, but has NEVER received them. He didn’t get an IEP until 5th grade, being denied by my request (not the school) starting in 2nd grade! He too has been very strong in math and it was his only thing he enjoyed in school. Well, when algebra was introduced, he could not do it! He just didn’t understand algebra at all (especially the “x” in equations, etc). That was it for him. He felt that he was just so stupid and had nothing left for him in school, so he just gave up. Stopped doing work, putting his head down on his desk, every class, crying, feeling sick, going to the nurse, not wanting to be in school anymore. He felt no teachers liked him, not principals liked him, no kids liked him. And oh ya, he was, and has been, bullied basically every single year, ending up in trouble for defending himself and getting suspended every year! The school district has failed my son!!! And I am very angry about it! Supreme Court case came too late for us, as my son had already turned into a different kid now, and I feel he would be different if he had gotten the help and supports he deserved in school!!! So I look for answers also and am so sorry you have gone through such a hard difficult time. It’s a hard life to live!!! It’s truly not fair! I’m so angry and not sure if I will ever get over this!