I 100% agree, you have to own your shit (can I curse on here?). That does not mean you can do it on your own, it means you have to take responsibility and get help. I don’t what gets people sober and I don’t know what gets people to hit a bottom with ADHD. I know that a person had to come to terms with it on their own. I can help someone open the door but I can’t make them walk through it. IE I can give them a meeting schedule, recommend this website or ADHD specialists, invite them to work out, or leave them, but I can’t make them change.
You have to save yourself. If there are negative people in your life and they are more trouble than valuable, you have to cut them out or tell them that you don’t want to hear anymore complaining from them if they are not gonna find solutions. It sucks but you have to protect yourself.
I am sorry you have to deal with this.
(Also I don’t mean to preach or tell you what to do. The use of the word ‘you’ is meant generally and not at anyone specifically)