Reply To: New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice Reply To: New to dating a guy with ADHD – Need advice


I read this whole thread and finally saw someone bringing God into the equation. Yay. Prayer and church going has helped me declutter my mind. It takes the chaos away and gives me a constant thing I can focus on.

I was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD (August 2017) and it explained everything to me about my life up to that point. My wife (24 years) is still struggling to understand just how this disability affects me. Where I now can say “that’s the ADHD”, she sometimes says “thats an excuse”. We are working on communicating better.

My doctor told me that it takes me abut 3 times the energy to focus and get something done. Sometimes my brain just gets tired from all the focusing..especially since I hold a job that is demanding organizationally speaking (I really should be working not posting my first post). I spent all last year working 50 hour weeks, then going home physically and mentally exhausted. I was missing things. Not turning off the stove. Not locking the front door. Not closing cabinets etc. I tried a few different medications and I am now on Adderall, which is working pretty well.

Over Christmas I took 2 weeks off and my brain started to recover. I believe my ADHD flairs up when I am tired and stressed too much.

I guess I am trying to say that ADHD can ebb and flow. There are good days and very bad days. Some days I am emotionally disconnected with the world, including my wife. Its not personal. Its just the way I am. Even people with ADHD need love. We are people too!