I think the only way you are able to actually give your relationship a shot, then the focus should be beyond ADHD, just like someone may have a difficult time with any other weakness like depression or insecurity, we wouldn’t want to be defined by it. The “normal” that needs to be seen is that there is a specific internal wiring each of you have. It wouldn’t be good to set your relationship up to a pass/fail test based on ADHD just like it wouldn’t be good to see through the lens of race if you’re an interracial couple or viewing your world as messed up because your spouse is diabetic thereby limiting your own world.
To give your relationship an actual shot, it is best to get as real as possible as fast as possible, and the way to do that is to find out what’s underneath the ADHD.
I would hesitate using a “personality” profiling tool, but would recommend a temperament profile for each of you, especially if you believe you are created by God. Then you’ll know God had something beneath the ADHD and all the other “weaknesses” that may be perceived and your relationship won’t be defined by it.