Reply To: Friendships: It´s not me – it´s YOU(?)

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#76251
Testingtesting
Participant

Hello again ANI

I can totally relate to the insecurity-issues you are
describing, the fear of getting rejected but also the fear
of getting too “sucked up” in peoples emotion and also there problems.
I feel the same way.
I feel like many people just know “here is someone I can talk to” and begin
to talk a bit too much, often using people for garbagecans, I´m often that
garbagecan because I can´t say “alright, let´s wrap this up cuz I need to go”.
Is this fears also the reason why you say you are not a good friend anyway?
Or is there something else you meant by that?

1. The point in my one-sided friendship is that she is my only female friend I got right now.
When we do get together we have fun for sure. It´s one-sided though, that´s the sad part.

2. I´m not sure I follow you right now 🙂 language problems I guess. You mean if what I´m saying to someone
confuses me when it´s coming out of my mouth? A problem I got is that I often forget if I already told someone something, so I do repeat myself, that´s something I feel annyoing about myself and people are often too nice to not tell me, they just “aha aha” like “okey, heard that already”. Are you like this too?

3. You mean trying to think she was taking the bad area personal? I can understand it
and I feel sorry if that what she was feeling back then. But like with nr 1 issue,
it should not be one-sided, she should would be be respectful to me as well and not just
reject me as “too sensitive and scared” and cancel plans. I do suffer from bad conscience very easily and I did said to her that I was very sorry for my behavoir but I´m scared for those things, been through some stuff so I´m guarded and my pulse raises easily if I go in to special areas. She knew this but didn´t care.

4. You have to ask yourself how nice it would be if you and me met for the first time
for a dinner on a resturant and I just talked about myself in a up-speed tempo about 2 hours non stop,
not letting you talk, never asked you a single question in return.
I may be very hard and judging, but I have to be this picky because many of these kind
of people are not just nervous. Nervous I can take, it´s something I forgive very easy and people that are very nervous often says it afterwards, she did not.

5. Some people deal with confrontation with stupid denial,
they can´t take it and will NEVER acknowledge they did something wrong even if it obvious. This is also the same people that would never say “I´m so sorry if I hurt you”.
That´s very frustrating when you have a friend doing this to you.
I been through it also and can tell you more if we email each other.
I do understand you felt numb, it´s a chock, right and I feel sorry for you.
How to spot that sort of people? It´s a chocker when it´s happening, right? I´m guessing the best outcome is that you misunderstood each other when this happened, you don´t want to think she was just evil even if it´s sound like that. A person with zero symphaty.

6. Thank you for your supportive words, I appreciate it 🙂
Sorry again, it´s me, not really understand again, do I listening too much you say?
Please explain what you meant 🙂

Do email me at alpacka@hotmail.com if you wish to have someone to write to 🙂 I will answer you.