I hate them, they are so hard to control, I do the same thing at work wth the bathroom etc. I think it’s over stimulation I give myself, I use to look for reasons, or hope for a reason to be pissed, so I could just hit the button to just handle it my way.. now with trying hard to hold back and not let this Halen as often, because it always feels like I brought a natural disaster to take on something frustrating.. Which is embarrassing, then anxiety etc over hoping it wasn’t seen as me making a giant mountain of frustration… It sucks, but for me it’s like a tic I guess it just has to come out, the more suppressed the more stress the hotter the Meltdown.. ^^ that was a lot of I’s , feel like a narcissist now :/.. don’t feel bad for taking a break. That’s anticipation waiting for some type of change. You probably like surprises, maybe the feelings are your mind taking hold of it to keep you interested..? Lost where I was going with this, phone typing is hard on here.. We aren’t perfectly able to control all these things all the time, that takes up so much resources and either there’s a lucky outcome or a big feeling of can’t/ failure, manage what you can, you’ll get better and better, just keep your mind on what it is you truly want and over do it so it stops bothering you or let it be maybe and let it out through an aggravating task before work. You gotta remember man they’re going to happen if they don’t, than your cured and well… that would probably be a meltdown in itself. My inspiration for this is think of a chameleon maybe it’s a change of color because of a change or transition that was sudden that you weren’t prepared for, I’m probably going to far out on that one, but it makes sense in a odd way. The best thing to think about is transitions are rough, because the mind is literally already doing it alot with everything.. I call it overload, it leads to hyperfocus for me sometimes. Or a big breakdown full of negative talk too work up to motivating and completing something left field unintentionally. Hope that you will find something that helps some how in this wall of text, if not, I know you’ll find a solution some how.