Reply To: Living with ADHD & Depression-will I ever feel happy?

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#76217
whisperingwings
Participant

Hi kdmcdonald22,

I know that feeling of loneliness when you are actually surrounded by people. It’s about being mentally alone, not being able to connect with anyone socially, intellectually or based on interest. I have very low tolerance for boredom and then that triggers intense sadness around most people because their conversation or life style is not interesting to me and I am forced to listen to it. I cannot engage in small talks or conversations that are not meaningful. If you are a coworker, I don’t want to hear about your shopping trip at Target or what you ate for dinner. Most people can engage in these kinds of discussions and go on and on… I feel like exploding. Then I get very depressed and start blaming myself “Why can’t I be like them? Why is it so hard for me to be comfortable and happy? How can I survive in this world?” I try telling myself that it’s not my fault, I have a different brain and I’m only with the wrong group of people, living in the wrong place (city life). I don’t want to push myself to be like them and I have to accept this is how they are. I have depression too but I think it’s triggered by the ADHD. When I am in a quiet environment surrounded by nature or with people who shares my interests, I don’t feel bad anymore. Medication can help but we also have consider the environment/surrounding. It’s great that you are reaching out by sharing your thoughts with us. We are here for you and we have similar experiences so you are really not alone.