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Coming from a different angle, my 14yo son was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive) right after he turned 11. Adderall worked great for him, but he started developing bad headaches. This year we switched to Vyvanse, which doesn’t give him headaches, but I don’t think it works as well, or maybe he needs a stronger dose. He still struggles with working memory, organization and time management, especially in the afternoons. He’s very smart but won’t work on homework or projects at home and won’t study for tests. He says he is fine and doesn’t need to study. His grades are passing but could be better if he would just spend a little more time on his studies.
I am trying to learn about ADHD all the time, but I worry that whenever I try to tell him something I read or encourage him to consider a different way, that I am telling him he isn’t worthy as he is and that he is broken and needs to be “fixed.” I don’t want him feeling that he isn’t good enough. I know that small efforts could improve his outcomes, but I don’t know how difficult making those small efforts can be for him. What’s easy for me could be next to impossible for him. He tends to resist any kind of structure or routine, and I would rather encourage than punish, but most of the time I don’t know what to do. I have been advised to restrict and control and force him to follow a structure, but to me that feels even more like “You aren’t good enough.” Thoughts?