I hear you, Amb. I’m on a journey myself at the moment. My therapist recommended Brene Brown’s books, “The Gifts of Imperfection” and “I Thought it Was Just Me” to help me work through the soul crushing shame of never feeling good enough. I think it’s helping, but the confidence and shame comes in waves, yet. Along with anxiety and dread. I have also in the past made some unfortunate financial decisions, lost a house, filed for bankruptcy, etc., but have made strides since then. You CAN if I can, but it’s not a race and it’s not an even course. I only paid cash for at least a year after the bankruptcy. I gradually allowed myself one card to boost my credit score, and still pay it off every week. So far over one year without a late payment or an interest charge. Yea!!! I am looking at this as my life, my journey, and I’m reading and thinking and trying to take care of myself – please do the same. You are a wonderful person, I’m sure…kind, sympathetic, encouraging to others…you have wonderful qualities. You are worthy. The mistakes are just mistakes, and you are as entitled to have them as the next person. So, get thee to a library, get a journal, learn to meditate (it actually changes our brains!) and follow the advice for meds and therapy as best you can from the other posts. Yep. Baby steps. Breathe! And blessings to you, my friend!