Reply To: Friendships: It´s not me – it´s YOU(?)

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#76040
dinamspice
Participant

Hi All ~
I have no advice to lend to your conversation, but, I also have issues with the idea of friendship. At 45-years-old I was diagnosed with ADHD (along with a couple of other lovely comorbidities) and the whole friend thing now makes so much more sense. Friendships have always been very hard for me. I believe I could comfortably live in a world of hyperfocus, alone and fairly happy. The world, and all of its sights, smells, and noise, totally drains me. I am very particular about who I let into my hubbub of a life, and it’s always felt like there just isn’t room for “friends”. They want too much from me (like plans! and phone interaction!)…I worry over most conversations with people I’m not fully comfortable with and I just don’t have the energy or desire to deal with it all. I feel like the idiosyncrasies that I now know come with my ADHD are just too many to try to hide, work around, explain. My husband and children understand my peculiarities and love me even when I can’t control certain aspects of them. They understand ADHD: I interrupt, I overshare, ugly emotions show when I get pulled away from a task I’m engrossed in, I get sidetracked by other stimuli and/or my incessantly changing thoughts while trying to hold a conversation. These are all things that friends may not be so cool with after a while (and I don’t blame them). It’s just too much work and honestly, at this point in my life, I really feel okay with it. The only time I feel bad is when I ponder why I don’t feel bad even though society seems to tell me I should.
~ Dina