Reply To: Friendships: It´s not me – it´s YOU(?)

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Relationships Friendships: It´s not me – it´s YOU(?) Reply To: Friendships: It´s not me – it´s YOU(?)


I suck at making and keeping friends too. Given that I don’t have great skills in this area, I have kind of outsourced this to people who are good at this. Some ideas for getting more social contact (and practice for social skills):

  • ADD support group
  • Meetup dot com group that matches any of your interests
  • Improv classes, which I think of as “supervised adult play date.” Being random and spontaneous is a valuable skill here! Plus someone else takes care of scheduling, getting other people to come, and coming up with fun games to play.
  • Any (in-person) class that matches your interests
  • Volunteer for a cause you consider worthwhile
  • Join a club
  • A counselor (who is a good fit for you) can be a tutor for social skills. Some people are ‘naturals’ but the rest of us have to learn how, and a good teacher can help.
  • Meditation, to train your brain how to be calm

One important factor is the ‘vibe’ you give off. It really helps to give off “purring cat” instead of “snarling dog”. This is a habit, and building it may take work, but it’s possible to at least shift habits gradually.

Edit: work on learning to notice the positive and give compliments. If nothing else, notice that they tried. Swap places in your mind: do you like being with someone who notices and points out your mistakes, or your successes?

Good luck!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by MrScott.